Your Facebook Is Causing Me To Stumble
Social Media is a pornographer. It’s an adulterer. It’s a slanderer. And it could be starring you.
Yes, I’m talking to you.
Maybe you’ve wrecked a few homes, ruined a few relationships… maybe some of your pictures have found their way into someone else’s bedroom.
Yes, I’m still talking to you. Maybe you’ve been married, but it hasn’t stopped you. Maybe you’ve been a great friend, but you’ve always craved more.
But what if that ruined marriage is mine? That stolen purity is mine?
What if that reputation was mine, and you stole it from me? You caused me to stumble and it all started with a simple scroll.
This is the story of many who’ve fallen prey to the quicksand that is social media.
Come on, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed it. You know what I’m talking about. If you have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, you’ve seen it. That little voice that tells you to stop, scroll back up, makes you double-take and say “Wait, did I just see what I think I saw?”
Come on, you know you’ve seen it. Bikini’s, tight shirts, no shirts, a little bit of skin to peak your interest… You do the stutter scroll or the about-face scroll, where your eyes can’t even catch up, you’re trying to reverse scroll so fast.
We are sexual creatures. We even look when we can’t help it. It’s like a train wreck, you just can’t look away even though you know you should.
Facebook is a pornographer. I’ve seen girls posting pictures in bikini’s, both married and unmarried women, revealing selfies, inappropriate clothing that I’m sure lead many men down a mental path they shouldn’t be going down and desiring a woman in a way they shouldn’t be.
Men are such visual beings. We have these curses called “triggers”, which are attached to images. These images burn into our minds forever, both good and bad. And when a man struggles with pornography, it only takes a certain image or picture to take them down a path they had been trying to avoid.
Ladies, let’s be honest. You know EXACTLY what you are doing when you are posting your swimsuit pictures on social media. You know exactly what and where that draws attention and as women, you seek validation in your beauty and feeling beautiful. But, your desire to be wanted is causing many men to stumble and seeds of destruction have been planted. And sadly, many of you like that feel of power. This is a heart issue and this will determine where your value and worth are stored.
This is not to say that men are blameless and don’t have hidden agendas. We all know many of us have tried playing the “caring friend” to many a lady at the onset, only to find ourselves enjoying the chase or having far less chivalrous motives. But that’s for another blog, another day.
And I agree with several people, if you can't handle having social media, can't control your thoughts or actions because of it, then you shouldn't have it. But, as much as we can preach self-control, we can't be nieve to think that everyone WILL control themselves or can, for that matter.
Personally, I don't struggle with pornography or social media in these ways, but it doesn't mean I don't have a past with it and I will NOT pretend like I'm not vulnerable to it. Even the strongest person can falter when they let their guard down and if you feel you are immune to its advances, then you are fooling yourself. No one is immune to temptations on all platforms and I'm not talking about only in the sexual realm.
So what have I done to protect myself? I’ve begun removing anyone from my social media who posts pictures that are revealing, any external links that show things I know will only potentially take my mind where it shouldn’t be, no matter how long it does or doesn’t stay there.
I’ve put up boundaries to safeguard my marriage and never let the enemy have just a sliver of my life because he will start there and begin to work his way in, causing me to pay more and more attention to him and pretty soon, he’s in my spiritual bloodstream.
Facebook is an adulterer as well. It has ruined countless marriages. It offers the chance to rekindle old flames, keep in touch discretely, and one justification at a time, men and women are falling prey to affairs and destroying their families.
Maybe you’re that person who’s constantly SO interested in everything Mr. Married Man or Mrs. Married Woman has to say or what they are doing… Maybe you’re constantly giving them the validation they need when they are ranting about their latest life trial.
You know what you’re doing. You know that rush and that feeling you get when you’re constantly feeding into everything they need in that moment. They needed someone to comment on their hard day and tell them they were awesome. You did that. Check.
They needed you to laugh at their funny post. Check. They needed someone to post something on their timeline or tweet them. Check. They needed someone to listen about their spouse being a jerk. Double check.
And one comment turns into 2, which turns into every time, which turns into private messages, which turns into a text, which turns into a phone call, which turns into just lunch, which turns into just dinner, which turns into just a kiss…well I think you know where I’m headed (or where you are).
You see your Facebook is causing many to stumble. I’ve consciously decided to put up safeguards to protect my marriage, my mind, my health, and my heart. I love my wife, so I want to honor her.
Not to pat myself on the back, but not everyone has come around to that discipline. There are many unhappy married men happy to look at your body. There are many teenage boys who have thought about you in a way that would make you sickened if you knew. There are plenty of men who have fallen back into a cycle of bondage to the power of pornography on account of what they are finding on what is supposed to be a non-pornographic site/app.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with posting pictures of yourself that make you feel beautiful, attractive, and good about yourself. But, before you post, be honest with yourself. What is it you want people to look at? Who’s looking at these and how are you wanting to be looked at? Just because they don’t comment, doesn’t mean they aren’t watching and looking.
And there’s nothing wrong with chatting on social media, but you know what you’re doing and you know where the boundaries should be. Corrosion doesn’t happen all at once, it happens gradually.
So who are you? We all play many roles on social media. Which one are you? Everyone is watching.